How women can deal with prejudice from other women at work (yes, it happens)
Women's empowerment and sisterhood are some of the hottest catchphrases in the equality movement in recent years. But while many accept enthusiastically risen to the challenge to champion each other at the workplace, there are still "Queen Bees" or bullies around who – consciously or otherwise – stand in the way of their peers.
In fact, most women have probably experienced some grade of female person discrimination earlier. For instance, some people may make snide remarks about their female bosses or are mean and uncooperative to other women in the workplace.
READ: What does modern solar day female empowerment actually mean in Singapore?
"I take seen i case where a adult female chosen another female leader 'incompetent and bad at her job' for no clear reason and told her team not to follow her instructions," said Yolanda Lee, founder and CEO of Uncommon, a private network that connects and supports women in leadership positions.
At times, it tin prove up as a double standard. For example, a male boss who gives feedback might be perceived as beingness proactive while a female might be regarded as mean and unpleasant.
Or, female misogyny tin can sometimes manifest in the form of unwarranted personal comments. "One of my friends told me how her female manager commented on her weight and asked if she was significant – to get her to clarify that she wasn't pregnant," said Saara Sihvonen, a motorcoach and Positive Psychology Practitioner (CAPP).
Sihvonen, a former style model, has personally experienced such comments, too. "I've been told, 'You're so skinny, practice you even eat anything,' both within and outside the work environment. I've pretty much never heard these comments from men," she said.
READ: Confident women and the art of power dressing in a #woke globe
Such catty remarks can be due to feelings of inadequacy compared to other women. "When ane feels insecure, the protective manner to feel amend about oneself and to heave i'south confidence can be to gauge other females 'who have it better'. For some women this sentence might be expressed through gossip or talking behind i's back," said Sihvonen.
Some of this unconscious bias that women demonstrate against other women also have deep roots in the internalised norms of behaviour in a patriarchal society. "Women, similar men, are not immune to the biases and messaging that nosotros all receive from such a immature historic period. Misogyny has such deep roots across all societies and permeates a range of religions, philosophies and popular culture," observed Lee.
"Even the well-nigh supportive woman can unconsciously act in ways that undermine other women. Internalised misogyny can testify up every bit a sense of scarcity for 'seats at the table' for successful women in the workplace resulting in competitiveness, excessive criticism and personal attacks."
Sabrina Ho, founder and CEO of One-half The Sky, a career and headhunting platform connecting female professionals with equal opportunity employers, recalled a conversation about the gender pay gap.
READ: The struggle mums in their 30s, 40s face juggling young kids and work is existent
"I was talking about how organisations tin can tackle this pervasive issue when the only female executive on this panel stated the gender pay gap doesn't exist as she was paid very well and the issue was of the failure of women equally they may not want to work hard enough or may not be capable enough to cut it," she said.
"I thought to myself, 'Talk well-nigh throwing all women nether the jitney'. For me personally, the almost challenging aspect of female misogyny when female leaders perpetuate a system that only accommodates 1 woman to take a seat at the top table."
To change this person's unfounded bias, Ho took the fourth dimension to explain politely that the evidence of the gender pay gap extended beyond her and the statistics compiled by governments and institutions clearly show information technology exists.
In fourth dimension, hopefully actions like Ho's will help to change the civilization of women "sabotaging" each other as we climb the corporate ladder.
And to add to this snowball effect, here are five means you tin assist to tear down these entrenched walls so that you too can truly empower the women around you.
READ: Opposite to what we expect, women in senior roles face more workplace sexual harassment
1. BE Aware OF YOUR Ain BIAS
Inquire yourself if y'all personally hold certain preconceived notions and so that yous tin play your role in breaking this cycle. Make it a betoken to not gossip or perpetuate this tendency inside the workplace.
Avert "labelling" people such as "career adult female", "housewife" or "wife" every bit a shortcut to getting to know them as this can perpetuate preconceived notions y'all might have of a certain person. Instead, brand the effort to get to know each private for herself.
Sihvonen said: "Taking time to get to know each other is quite essential and usually the best pathway to creating more than connection to each other and connectedness helps kill these stereotypes, labels and prejudice – and I guess the cattiness likewise!"
ii. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
As they say, similar attracts similar, and so surround yourself with like-minded allies who can encourage you, celebrate your wins and help you lot bounce back from your losses – and do the same for them in return.
"I believe that seeking to elevator each other up is the only way to change the wheel. You can always tell who the strong women are. They are the ones y'all come across building each other up instead of violent each other down," said Ho.
If yous are unfortunately in a hostile work surround, await beyond your work desk-bound and fifty-fifty the country you live in, she urged. For instance Ho'due south platform One-half The Sky offers courses and soon, mentorships to back up professional women. Lee's organization Uncommon is another option that offers coaching, programming and get-togethers so like-minded women can draw inspiration from each other.
3. Alter YOUR REACTION TO A SLIGHT
Admittedly, this can be hard to put into practise simply think this, the one thing that is well within your command is how you react to things that happen to you lot. "Retrieve, this is a reflection of the other person and not you – in most cases I don't think women fifty-fifty recognise their own misogyny," said Ho.
So, be proactive in helping yourself cope with the situation by finding a manner to view the state of affairs through a different lens. For instance, you lot might desire to tell yourself that the other person is having a bad mean solar day and taking out her frustrations on you, suggested Sihvonen.
She added: "It is important to note that changing your response is not an act of ignoring the problem. It's a mode for you to help yourself out when someone is behaving in a rude style. Changing your mental response is a gift to yourself considering it will assist y'all cope with such events much better in the hereafter."
4. DON'T Be Afraid TO SPEAK UP
What you can do to alleviate this issue is to gently and politely warning the other person to the impact of her deportment. "Letting someone know how their deportment made y'all feel can aid them to build a basic level of sensation," said Lee. "I recommend doing this privately versus in a public setting where they will be more likely to reply defensively."
Lee suggests that it is all-time to utilise specific examples to illustrate your points, instead of blanket statements like "you lot e'er" or "you never" which are more than likely to be perceived every bit an assail.
5. FIND THE OPPORTUNITY Fifty-fifty IN AN UNPLEASANT SITUATION
Focus on finding the silver lining instead. And so, when you engage this person, tell her you are committed to succeeding together and work to create win-win outcomes together, said Lee. "Model the behaviour y'all want to see in the other person – give them credit where it is due or interject when someone interrupts them in a coming together," she suggested.
This action can also positively impact your own mental wellbeing. "Even in the toughest times when we help ourselves to focus our attention to see the silver-lining, we help ourselves become more resilient," said Sihvonen.
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/women/how-women-can-deal-with-misogyny-prejudice-from-other-women-248846
0 Response to "How women can deal with prejudice from other women at work (yes, it happens)"
Post a Comment